The YuGiOh Jukebox
by WOWZAcoolBEANS
Summary: You request what kind of story you want to hear and I'll write it for you, anything at all. More details inside. :D Chapter 18: Marik and Bakura meet in Las Vegas.
1. Hear Ye!

Hear ye, hear ye! Come one, come all to WOWZAcoolBEAN's jukebox of Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction. Yes, you heard me right. You request it, I write it, no matter how stupid and fluffy, or epic and sad it may be. The only requirements, it has to be a one-shot, unless I would like to continue it, and there can be no crossing over (like Bella from Twilight has a meaningful relationship with Kaiba. NO! NONE OF THAT!). Other than that, you say the word and it's done. Yaoi, songfic (if I can find the song for free), complete fluff… all shall be done, maybe not well, but should be done. So this is your chance folks! You can now see all of your sickest, strangest fantasies come forth! Tell me what you want in a review and (God willing) I should have it up in a few days. Thank you one and all! And yes, this idea was lovingly stolen from my idol, Smeepalicious. Gotta love her!

So send in those requests right now.

Why are you still reading this?

Go send in your request.

NOW!


	2. Smeepalicious's Revenge

Ha. So my good friend Smeepalicious decided to drop by and pay me back for all of the silly requests I did on her request thread (hey, show me someone who DOESN'T want to see an Ishizu/Kaiba!) so I now have seven requests in the queue.

1. A fic in which Dartz is the protagonist

2. A fic in which the Yuugi-tachi kidnap Mokuba

3. A fic in which Seto Kaiba ends up in drag

4. A fic in which Pegasus watches an episode of Spongebob Squarepants

5. A fic in which each main member of the Yuugi-tachi gains a superpower

6. A fic in which Odion takes Chibi-Marik to the zoo

7. A fic in which Yuugi drags Yami to a Broadway musical

Count them. Seven. Wow. It seems that I already have my work cut out for me. So to get started with ick. Dartz. I hate Dartz. CURSE YOU SMEEP!

Title: Dartz Builds Rome in a Day

Rating: K

Commission: A fic in which Dartz is the protagonist –Smeepalicious

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, names, places, cards or friendship speeches of the original Yu-Gi-Oh series. I only pretend that I do. And not well.

From high up on his cloud Dartz looked down at the world, hoping to see the Pharaoh's reincarnation so that his plans of creating a better world might be achieved. But on this strange day in the year seven hundred and fifty three before Common Era Dartz saw an opportunity. Sitting next to the Tiber River were a pair of twins, raised by a wolf mother. Dartz, being a magical entity could tell that one of these two would build a great city, which would eventually become a great Empire. One of the best in the world. And while the Pharaoh was away, and since he was bored, Dartz decided to help, and shape this new city after Atlantis, his home.

So Dartz descended from his cloud to talk to the brothers, who were tugging on either side of a wooden stick and quarrelling about whose it was. He rolled his eyes at such a trivial thing and tried to speak to the brothers.

"Hello!" Dartz said in his most intimidating voice.

The brothers both ignored him and continued to fight over the stick. Dartz ignored this set back and tried to continue.

"You must the brothers Romulus and Remus, sons of the God Mars and raised by a she-wolf."

The two brothers, still unaware of Dartz, stopped quarrelling about the stick and moved onto a especially shiny and smooth rock that they had both seen. Dartz, slightly annoyed by the fact that no one was paying attention to him, tried clearing his throat loudly, and began to speak in an even louder tone.

"And you shall be the founders of a great city, the city of Rome."

With the mention of the name Rome, the two boys stopped and looked at Dartz for the first time.

"Romulus?" Remus asked his brother.

"Remus?" Romulus asked his brother.

"Ready." They said simultaneously.

And with that they quickly picked Dartz up and dumped him into the Tiber and walked away laughing.

_That's the last time I ever try to help anyone again_.Dartz said as he walked off sulking.

Wow. That was terrible. Ick. But at least I did it. IN YOUR FACE SMEEPALICIOUS! MUAHAHA!

And why Rome you might ask? Well I just had my final for my World History Class this summer today (well, yesterday, it's actually after midnight here, I'm just being hyper.) and yeah. I'm taking summer school. And I'm nerdy enough to actually remember the information that I was taught there. Yeah. Weird. So now I know all this useless information about ancient Rome that will never actually help me in real life. Yay!


	3. Some Mokuba Fanservice

Title: Mission Im-Mokuba

Rating: K+

Commission: A fic in which the Yuugi-tachi kidnap Mokuba –Smeepalcious

Disclaimer: As much as I would enjoy the royalty fees, I do not and will not ever own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its characters.

"But Joey," Tea said in her annoying motherly voice, "doesn't this seem like something that a villain would do?" _It's a little late for her to say that,_ Joey thought to himself as they snuck up into Kaiba's headquarters/home/brothel, _we're already here._

"Tea, don't worry. Kaiba's used to it. Mokuba seems to get kidnapped every other week nowadays. I mean think about it, there was Pegasus, Marik had him at one point, and I mean who hasn't kidnapped him before? Even Tristan has!" Joey said attempting to reassure her.

"Hey!" Tristan said, "That wasn't me, that was that guy who beat me in the duel because I was saving your sister from becoming a Robot Monkey like me!"

Joey told Tristan to be quiet before he could get into another long, complicated, angst-ridden story about how being a Robot Monkey for a few days had emotionally scarred him for life and how there would be years of therapy in his future. This was an important mission; Joey could not afford to think about stupid side-plots. He went over his plan again in his mind, _go in, find Mokuba, grab him, and run._ It was genius. There was no way that they could be caught. It wasn't like KaibaCorp was a multi-million dollar corporation that would have thousands of security cameras in every corner. Right?

Besides, security cameras didn't matter. He had to get to what was really important. A re-match with Kaiba. Having been creamed into a soft, mushy pulp every time that he had dueled Kaiba, Joey wanted to duel him again, and he would have to win if he said he was going to take revealing pictures of Mokuba under Kaiba's name and put them on the internet. It wasn't like it was illegal or anything. Or even worse, cheating.

Joey saw Tristan give the signal and knew that the time had come. The three of them had just began to sneak into KaibaCorp's main building when their target was spotted. Mokuba was walking across a large foyer on the first floor with a large fountain in the middle. Seto Kaiba was just getting out of the elevator about 20 yards behind him. Just as Seto opened his mouth to say something along the lines of, 'What are you nerds doing here?' Joey ran over to Mokuba, grabbed him, and started to run out of the building with Tea and Tristan trailing shortly behind him. About five blocks away from the KaibaCorp building Joey slowed to a stop, panting. He noticed that Mokuba wasn't squirming or talking, so he thought he should ask him if he were okay.

"Hey Mokuba, are you okay?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. My big brother will be here in about forty seconds to save me." Mokuba said in reply.

"Aren't you scared?" Joey asked, knowing what his answer would be if he were in the same situation.

"No. I'm used to it. Besides, you're not half as scary as Pegasus, at least with you there's only a small chance that you'll rape me." Joey laughed and then stopped.

"Wait? There's a cha…" Joey was cut off mid-sentence when three helicopters, a multitude of police cars, seven mobsters on motorcycles, and some Army Cavalry mounted on horseback surrounded him, with Kaiba taking the lead in one of the helicopters.

"Wheeler, give me my brother and I won't sue your ass half as bad." Kaiba said into a megaphone so his voice boomed above all of the noise in the area. Joey, who was so surprised that he was speechless, let go of Mokuba.

"How did you get all this in time?" He asked Kaiba, not really expecting him to hear.

"You know this stupid necklace I wear Wheeler?" He asked Joey.

"Yes."

"Well, if I open it up it sends a signal to The Police Station, The Army and Fat Louie's Gang over at the bar a few blocks to the west and tells them that Mokuba's been kidnapped… again."

"Oh." Joey said as a Police Officer put handcuffs on him and pulled him into his squad car. It wasn't until they had began to drive away that Joey realized who wad driving.

"If you don't mind Joey-boy." Pegasus said from the front seat, "We're going to do some role playing. I'll be the proper police officer and you'll be the rough criminal."

Fin

Yet again. Not my best work. But it's almost 1 am, give me a break!

Coming up next on the agenda are…

Seto Kaiba ends up in drag

Pegasus watches Sponge Bob

Yugi's Gang gets superpowers

Come on, I want to do something other than Smeepalicious's will. Please request something!


	4. Monkeying Around

Wow. I've actually got like, a bunch of requests on this thing. I forgot how it feels like to have something that people like, actually read. This makes me feel all tingly inside! :D But with the many requests, I've decided to change the order up a bit, mostly because I know that Smeepalicious will be a good girl about this and not bite my head off. Hopefully. So here's the new order (not all of them will be listed here, but all of them will be done when I have the time).

Tristan's angst-ridden story on being a robot monkey –Kukki Boo

Marik takes Yami Marik to Fireworks on the 4th of July (How appropriate) –Unique Art

Pegasus watches Spongebob -Smeepalicious

A Roland Romance –Kukki Boo

Yami drags Yami Bakura to the Grocery Store –Unique Art

This shall be fun!

xxxxx

Title: Tristan's Nightmare

Rating: K+

Commission: Ooh! My request: Tristan's angst-ridden story on being a robot monkey... -Kukki Boo

Disclaimer: "Are you, or were you ever the creator of the anime series Yu-Gi-Oh?" Said McCarthy to the girl standing at the witness bench.

"No, I was no, am no, and never will be the creator of the anime series Yu-Gi-Oh" Said WOWZAcoolBEANS cowering in fear.

xxxxx

Tristan woke with a fright. It was another one of those nightmares. A small mechanical body, his words and emotions unheard by his friends. In short, he had become the Robot Monkey again.

The time that he had spent as the robotic mammal had scared him. The only reason that he had any fond memories from the time was the fact that he got to look at Serenity's chest all day and no one noticed. But it was terrible being trapped inside the Robot. He was always cold and it was always dark. Most people would have thought it would be cool to be robotic. Not Tristan, he knew, it was freezing to be robotic.

As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes he recalled the days where he had been trapped inside that Robotic Prison. He was constantly kicked and pushed around because he was so small. Something that he had never experienced before, due to his large stature. There was also the constant fear that he would be smashed into pieces, either by his friend's stupidity or by the villains who had control of his body.

Tristan got out of his bed and began to get dressed. _The one good thing about being the monkey, _he thought to himself _is that I never had to worry about doing laundrey._

Then he left his bedroom and went to school.

xxxxx

Wow, that was even worse than the Dartz one. I guess I'm not very good at this. Oh well. At least it's fun. Sorry for the delay, I had a busy, busy weekend. I'll try to update more often though, but no promises (summer school sucks.)


	5. My Apologies

Hello everyone, long time no see!

I'm sorry I've been gone so long, things just got all mixed up. I've been working on my schoolwork (wow, a shocker), other fanfics, multiple auditions and lots of other crap, so my attention hasn't really been here.

Sorry.

But I'm restarting this thing up with a few changes…

I'm going to get rid of everything in my queue, it's just going to make my life easier.

I'm going to actually do the requests when they come in, not mix up the order.

I'm going to write them well!

I hope no ones too mad at me for being gone so long, but I'll never leave you for that long ever again! I promise! Okay, please request stuff, if you'd like to re-request something, go ahead. No offense is intended if your request was deleted, it's for my own personal health.

And remember…

Keep your heart in the cards!


	6. A Mary's Dead

**Title:** To Kill a Mary-Sue

**Commission: **Can you please put me and Duke in a story. My name is Skylar Rose Minamoto and I have long blond hair in a high ponytail with bright crystal clear blue eyes and I would love to have Duke's children. Our son's name is Sasuke Sky Devlin and he would look and act like his daddy while his twin sister Sakura Nicole Devlin and she would look and act like her momma. I would love to be married to Duke. - ang5523

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or the characters of Skylar,Sauske or Sakura.

"Don't worry Duke, it's perfectly safe." Skylar Rose Minamoto told her husband for the thousandth time. Her long blonde hair that she always kept in a high ponytail that she never took out… ever. Even when she was showering or getting her haircut or sleeping blew up as a gust of wind passed by the married couple.

"Skye…" Duke began with depression in his eyes. "I didn't say anything." Skye looked disappointed. It must have been the voices in her head that had told her that her husband was worried again. She swore internally. She had to stop letting those voices, not even caused by a Millennium Item, from getting to her. As she pondered what Pudding, the name of her female voice was saying to her, Skye's two young children ran out of the house.

"MOMMA!" Sauske Sky Devlin shouted as he saw his mother on the bright pink motorbike that was parked outside of their suburban home. Skye opened her arms, expecting to get a hug from her son. He ran over to her, and kicked her bike. "DROP DEAD!" Sauske, who was mortified enough to have a mother masquerading as someone Japanese, though clearly, she was not, hated his mother.

First of all, he was named after that emo kid from Naruto, but to make matters worse, he had a girl's middle name! What kind of crap-ass parent would name their MALE child after a chick?

"Sauske dearest, you mustn't do that to mommy." Skye took her child into her arms and looked into his eyes. After a moment Sauske was hypnotized by the clear blueness of her Mary-Sue eyes. He was instantly in love.

"I love you mommy… will you marry me?" Skye laughed and put her son down. Her husband sighed.

"Sauske, get inside and hopefully your balls will drop soon." Sauske nodded, still thinking about his mother in a way most boys should not think about their mother, and walked inside of the house.

"Now what were you saying my Love Muffin?" Skye pointedly ignored Duke's eyes rolling.

"I was saying that you have fun on your drive. You used up all of our savings to buy the freaking motorcycle, so you might as well enjoy it." Skye laughed, her husband could be so funny some times!

"Don't worry darling, I will. And when I get back you can have a go at it!" She said as she threw her head back and let out a deafening cackle.

_If there's one thing worse than her personality,_ Duke thought as he watched his burden… he meant wife guffaw _it would be her laugh_.

Having married Skye because of a drunken dare from Tristan while they were in Las Vegas, and he had regretted it every day. Every time that he had approached her about perhaps getting a divorce she let out another cackle and told him that he was so cute when he was kidding… Yeah. Kidding. That was the word for it. KIDDING.

Just as Skye got over her laughing jag, that lasted about ten minutes, Skye's daughter Sakura walked out of the house.

"Is someone dying?" She asked. "Or is mommy just laughing again?" Duke walked over to his daughter, who he somewhat hoped _wasn't_ actually his daughter, and picked her up.

"It's just mommy." Sakura nodded in recognition and turned to face her mom.

"Have fun mommy." She said with as much personality as her mother had… which was not much. Duke put Sakura down next to her mother.

"I will schnookums!" Skye exclaimed loudly as she kissed her daughter on her forehead. "I'll be off now!" Skye said as she revved her engine and took off loudly. As soon as his wife was out of earshot Duke took out his phone and pressed a number, he put it up to his ear.

"Yeah Tristan? It's time. Call the Doom."

--

Skye felt the wind whip through her pony-tailed hair and smiled with glee. This is what she was looking for, the high that she had needed! And since Duke had been out to late 'working' lately and hadn't been giving her much sex, this is just what she had needed.

She whipped through her neighborhood and got onto a somewhat deserted highway. She rode as fast as she could, almost stupidly fast.

Then three people were on her tail, almost appearing out of nowhere. Instead of calling the police to report them for speeding, like most sane people would do, Skye pulled over.

They did as well.

Of course Skye wasn't worried, she had never met a single person who couldn't resist her charms. She was beautiful, perfect, and knew six languages. But despite this, she was everyone's best friend and not a single person hated her. And if they did, her pack of best friends would immediately go and kill that person. Instantly.

"Hello!" She said happily as her new friends surrounded her. There was one huge man, one medium man and one skinny and feminine looking man. Skye started to get worried, but she knew that worst comes to worst her black belt in karate would save her.

"'Ello there mate." The medium one said as he began to take off his helmet.

"Wait, don't Valon! Her clear blue eyes will hypnotize you if you look at her straight in the eye!" The feminine looking one said with worry as his friend's helmet went clean off, his hair giving a slight pop as it poofed out.

"Don't worry, I've got me goggles." Valon said with a smile. He then turned his attention to the girl in front of him. "As I was saying, 'ello there Skye, we've come to do a 'ittle favor for a friend." The feminine one gave a laugh as the big one put a bag over Skye's head. Skye struggled for a moment, then passed out.

Her perfection had come to an end.

--

Duke smiled as he clicked his phone closed. His burden was finally gone. He was free.

HE WAS FREEEEEEEEEEE!!

He quickly opened his phone once again and pressed the first button on speed dial.

"Tristan! I'm free. We can finally be together…"

--

Yes, this was mean, but if you had used better grammar in your request ang, I probably would have been a little nicer.

(If you want a nicer story ang, I'll make one for you. Just give me a plot!)

As per the usual, read, relax, review. Give me some requests!


	7. I Love Slifer

**Title: **Everybody loves Obelisk

**Commission: **How about you write me... a romance fic between the Three Egyptian God Cards! –Smeepalicious

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or the Egyptian Gods.

(Just a note, this will be done in script format as if it were the script for a really, REALLY bad sitcom.)

(Lights up on Obelisk the Tormentor in a pink flowered apron, fixing things up in the kitchen, whistling. The Winged Dragon of Ra walks in after a moment with a brown fedora and matching suit on, holding a briefcase.)

**Ra**

Obbie, I'm home!

**Obelisk**

Ra, you have some 'splaining to do!

(Laugh Track)

**Ra**

Aw Obbie, what'd I do now.

(Laugh track)

**Obelisk**

Stop that. I'm mad at you.

(Ra sits down on the lavender couch in the room adjacent to the kitchen. Obelisk follows him there, but remains standing.)

**Ra**

Aw Obbie, what's wrong?

(Laugh Track)

**Obelisk**

What's this I hear about you and Slifer the Sky Dragon?

("Ooooh" Track with a wah-wah-wah in the background)

**Ra**

Aw Obbie, you know that we're just friends!

(Laugh Track)

**Obelisk**

Then why'd I hear from the Dark Magician Girl that you two were _kissing_ the other night?

("Ooooh" Track with a wah-wah-wah in the background)

**Ra**

Uh-oh, I'm in trouble…

(Laugh Track)

--

Okay, all ya'll don't know how much fun I had writing that!

Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Send in some more requests, up next we have a Roland Romance for Kukki Boo.


	8. Roland's Romeo

**Title:** Forbidden Love

**Commission: **Welcome back! I re-request Roland Romance -Kukki Boo

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, I do however own Diane.

Roland swept into Diane's office, not caring who noticed. He opened her door without knocking and as he approached her a look of shock swept across her face.

"R… Roland, what are you doing here?" She asked, stuttering. She hadn't expected to see Roland today, since Mr. Kaiba was on a business trip to Egypt and Roland was usually with him.

"I couldn't do it any longer Diane." Roland said, his heart racing. He had been waiting for this moment since he had met Diane. As soon as the beautiful red head had came into to be interviewed to be Seto's secretary, he knew that he was in love. And the first time that he had looked into her lily pad colored eyes, he knew that Diane was his soul mate, and that there would never be another woman for him besides her. "Diane, I love you!" He exclaimed.

Instead of the instantaneous declaration of love that he had expected from the woman sitting on the other side of the room, there was silence. Roland's heart sank. The two stood staring at each other for a moment, avoiding eye contact. After a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, Roland spoke.

"I'm sorry Diane, that was out of line." He said in a monotonous voice. Roland turned around to leave. "I'll be seeing…" he was interrupted by Diane's quiet voice.

"Roland, don't leave!" She said with great emotion, though the volume of her voice was still a whisper. Roland turned around, waiting expectantly. He had already been humiliated, wasn't that enough?

"Yes?" He asked her in the same voice that he spoke to his bosses competitors when he wanted to intimidate them. Diane looked at him timidly for a moment, then spoke.

"I love you as well, but isn't office romance forbidden here?" Roland's heart began racing again. She loved him, she did! Not caring that it was against the rules, he ran over to her and swept her up in his arms.

"It doesn't matter, my love! We'll find a way!" As he enveloped her in a passionate kiss Mr. Kaiba himself walked into the room.

He did not seem please.

The two of them immediately stopped kissing.

There was an awkward silence all around them for a moment.

"Diane, you're fired. Roland, come to my office."

_Shit._ Roland thought as he walked away to meet his doom.

--

There you go Kukki Boo! And it only took, what, five months?

I'd just like to add one more rule down here while I'm yapping, if you would be so kind, could everyone only request one story at a time? It gets hard when you have seven stories from the same person at one time, it's confuzzling.


	9. Roland's Romeo 2

**Title:** Roland: Knight in Shining Armor?

**Commission: **Uhm, if I may make another request, I request Roland in a love triangle with Mai and Keith. And Pegasus should be in there somewhere.-Kukki Boo

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, simple and plain as that.

**Note: **This is slightly AU, well not really. But this is set during Duelist Kingdom and I'm having Roland in the employ of Pegasus.

Roland surveyed the area. All was clear. He took out the small walkie-talkie that Pegasus required him to carry at all times. He checked to make sure that he was on the right channel and spoke into it.

"Mr. Pegasus, paging Mr. Pegasus." He said as clearly as he could into the small microphone. For a multi-billionaire Pegasus had bought the cheapest and crappiest microphones out there. After a few moments of crackled static a flamboyant voice came over the line.

"Yeeeesss?" His employer asked his voice trailing on the 's' for a scarily long time.

"It's all clear Mr. Pegasus. You can come out now." Roland said without trying to laugh. Why Pegasus would need a guard to go plant some azaleas out on his porch was beyond Roland's comprehension, but no matter how small and stupid his daily tasks might be, Roland was just glad that he was being paid.

"Oh goodie!" Pegasus said into the microphone. After approximately two one thousandths of a second Pegasus popped out of his mansion and onto the porch where Roland was standing.

"Good morning Mr. Pegasus, sir." He said as professionally as he could to the King of Camp.

"Hello Roland-boy. Isn't it just a glorious day, the bells are ringing, the birds are singing, I feel like I could sing…" Just as Pegasus finished his words a piercing woman's shriek came out of the nearby woods. Without thinking Roland ran to find what was going on.

If nothing else, Roland was chivalrous.

As he ran off Roland could hear Pegasus's cries of him missing a big dance break, but he didn't mind. He was going to save the damsel in distress, and hopefully get a little money to pay the heating bill that was steadily collecting interest in his kitchen drawer.

After another minute of running Roland came to the scene of the crime. There seemed to be a beautiful blonde bombshell and another blonde, only this one a man, trying to forcibly kiss her.

It was Roland to the rescue!

Roland ran over to the two of them and pulled the man, who for some reason was wearing an American Flag bandana on his head, off of the girl.

"Hey, why'd you do that?" The blonde man asked him, but Roland didn't pay attention. All he could do was look at the strong woman who was now in his arms.

It was love at first sight.

"Yeah." The woman added to Roland's surprise. "Why'd you do that?"

"I was saving you!" Roland said to his astonishment. He was forcing himself onto her, why was she unhappy that he had come to save her?

"Uh." The girl said with a sneer. She walked back to the blonde man. "Come on Keith, let's get outta here."

"Sure thing babe." Keith said with a laugh as the two walked away from Roland.

As Roland gazed longingly at the spot in the woods that the two of them had left through he heard a noise from behind him.

"Roland-boy, there you are! I thought we could do some more role playing…"

Roland sighed, he really needed to find a new job.

_Fin_

I hope all ya'll liked it. It wasn't my best, but come on! It's hard to write a one-shot that has both Roland _and_ Bandit Keith in it! Please send in some requests! Next up is the Yami's start a smooth jazz countdown (I really hate Smeepalicious right now…).


	10. Yami's Radio Takeover

**Title:** Yami's Smooth Jazz Countdown

**Commission:** Bwahahaha- My next request is... The Yamis buy a radio station and start a weekly Smooth Jazz Countdown! HAVOC ENSUES!

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Timmy's Smooth Jazz Countdown.

**Note:** Okay, so this is going to be done half in script format and half in not. The script is the actual radio show. And there will be a political reference in here that may offend some, don't be offended please, I just wanted to say it. And FYI, the OCness runs wild in this one.

"What do you do with this contraption?!" Malik yelled as he threw the expensive piece of equipment across the room. It was quite hard to have a co-host who spent most of his life living in an underground hole. Yami, the understanding soul that he was, picked it up and tried to explain how it worked to Malik, which just resulted in Malik throwing it at the Pharaoh.

"Bakura, BAKURA, we've got two minutes until we're on the air," Yami said in a condescending tone to the albino next to him. "Can you _please_ get ready?" Bakura sneered and got into his seat for the show. The only reason he ever agreed to do this was that the rents got higher and higher in Domino City ever since President Brock Obama took office and made everything just about catching Pokémon and raising taxes of the middle class.

"Fine." Bakura said with a humph. He hated his co-hosts.

"Where do I sit?" Malik demanded causing Yami to give an exasperated sigh.

"Here." Yami said as he pointed to a chair in front of one of the microphones. He was beginning to regret his choices of co-hosts, but the sound of 'Yami's Smooth Jazz Countdown with Bakura and Malik' just had a great sound to it. But perhaps choosing the other two Yamis to co-host was still a bad idea. Oh well, it was too late to turn back now.

"Okay, we'll be on the air in three… two… one… Now!"

**Yami**

Hello, welcome to Yami's Smooth Jazz Countdown with Bakura.

**Bakura**

Hello there.

**Yami**

And Malik.

**Malik**

Yo.

**Yami**

We've got a great line up of songs here for you tonight on our Jazz Countdown starting with…

**Bakura**

Anton Farber's "Kuriboh Gets Down"

Yami turned off the microphones as the smooth jazz of Vince Farber's song played in the background.

"Good job everyone, we're doing great!" Yami said with glee. His first radio broadcast was already turning out to be a success.

"Yes, great, sure." Bakura said as he rolled his eyes. Yami tried to ignore it for a long time, but Bakura's pessimism was beginning to get to him.

"Do you have a problem Bakura?" Yami asked the white-haired Brit.

"No, of course not. Except for the fact that this whole things is…" The song ended abruptly and Yami turned the microphones back on.

**Yami**

I hope that all you cats and dogs out there enjoyed that little number. I know that it's one of my personal favorites.

**Malik**

Oh yeah?

**Yami**

Yeah, that's right. Now it's that time of night when we take a phone call for a song request.

**Bakura**

We've got a caller right here.

**Yami**

Hello, you're on Yami's Smooth Jazz Countdown with Bakura and Malik, what's you name and what would you like us to play?

**Mysterious Caller**

Hello, my name is Joe Somebody and I'd like you to play "Seto Kaiba Pwns Yami Yugi in Everyway" by The Blue Eyes White Dragons.

(Phone disconnection)

**Yami**

I'm sorry Joe but we don't Seto Kaiba Pwns Yami Yugi in Everyway in our records and… HEY WAIT!

**Bakura**

While our host gets over his cardiac arrest we'll be playing "The Dark Magician's Waltz" by Quentin Molasses.

"Are you feeling alright?" Bakura asked his host with a grin as he saw him breathing heavily. Apparently Yami did not enjoy being publicly humiliated. Bakura made a mental note of this.

Regaining his composure Yami answered Bakura's question, knowing that it was not actual concern for him, but a want to get underneath his skin.

"Yes, I'm fine. Seto just needs to learn to keep his heart in the cards." Malik gave a laugh.

"The heart of the cards Pharaoh? I thought that after five thousand years you would have stopped believing in that bull shi…"

**Yami**

Wasn't that great? To those listeners who are just tuning in that was Quentin Molasses's "The Dark Magician's Waltz".

**Malik**

Wait, wait, what do I _do_ with this?

**Yami**

Malik, we're on air, can't this wait.

**Bakura**

Yes Malik, Yami is far too _busy_ to help out his fellow co-hosts.

**Malik**

That's sort of hard to understand from someone who _still_ believes in the heart of the cards…

**Yami**

Hey, without the heart of the cards I wouldn't be the King of Games!

**Bakura**

No, without that extra deck that you keep up your sleeve to cheat you wouldn't be the King of Games.

**Yami**

Get over here!

**Malik**

You fools, the equipment!

**Bakura**

Bring it…

**Yami**

You bastard!

**Malik**

Lick!

**Yami**

Ouch!

**Bakura**

Damn!

**Strangely Calming Feminine Voice**

We interrupt this broadcast to give you emergency updates for your area… In Domino County there is a fifty percent chance of tornados with…

_Fin_

Wow! That was fun! And don't worry, you can download "The Dark Magician's Waltz" and "Kuriboh Gets Down" on iTunes (haha, I wish). Please send in some requests!


	11. Tea Makes A Choice

**Title: **Choices

**Commission:** Hey! How about a Denyshipping (Atem/Yami x Anzu/Tea x Thief King/Yami Bakura). I'd prefer if it wasn't set in the past and that's about as specific as I get. –We're In Like Sin

**Rating: **T

**Note: **Haha, sorry about my stupid Tea remark about there being two Tea's Sin, this is why one should not answer reviews when they've only gotten a few hours of sleep the night before. Also, this was rather difficult for me, so I'm sorry if it's not the greatest. I don't usually write any of those characters actually, so it was a stretch. Just so the plot doesn't confuse you, Bakura and Yami came back from the afterlife (don't ask me how, I don't know) and they're in a pickle where Tea has to choose one out of the two to save and send the other to the Shadow Realm for the rest of eternity (yes, I had serious writer's block with this).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh because if I did, I would have skipped GX and gone straight on to 5D's.

The two heads in front of her were so drastically different. Bakura's, with his snow white hair and fair complexion and Yami, with his multi-colored locks and somewhat tanned skin, only made to look more bronze as he stood next to the almost albino person next to him.

As cliché as it sounded, they were as different as night and day.

On one hand there was Yami, the mysterious Egyptian pharaoh, having only recently found out about his past. He stood for all that was good and just in the world. Tea couldn't count the number of times that he had saved the world from doom and destruction and how many times he had saved _her_ personally.

Then there was Bakura. Possibly the most evil human to ever walk the Earth. Who had tried to destroy the world and everything that Tea had ever loved. Who had trapped them in the ancient past only to try to destroy them.

It shouldn't have been as hard as it was to choose between the light and the darkness.

But it was.

"Well Tea, the choice is yours. What will you do?" The harsh words that Bakura said came out softer because of the British accent that hung on his words. He smiled, sarcasm oozing off of every bone of his lanky body. He was enjoying every moment of Tea's torture. To force her to choose like this… it was downright cruel.

Her attention turned to Yami; he was standing there as cool and collected as he always was. She turned away before they could make eye contact. She was ashamed of herself. It shouldn't have been like this, it should have been an easy decision between the two of them. The moment that Bakura had told her that she would be forced to choose between the two of them Yami's name should have come through her lips. It would have been so easy to just say "Atem" and get it over with. But now she was just hurting her dearest friend. She knew that she'd never be able to look at herself in the mirror again, let alone look Yami in the eyes.

And that's when the idea popped into her head.

There was a way she wouldn't have to look in a mirror ever again.

There was a way where she didn't have to chose.

She would chose not to decide.

"Tea, don't!" Yami said, shock in each syllable. Tea looked at him sadly. They knew each other too well. It was strange that they did, Yami had always been so mysterious, but he seemed to know her just as well as she knew herself.

She would miss that.

"I've made my decision." Tea said softly. Bakura's smile widened into a grin. Tea would miss that too; seeing Bakura's eyes register his latest evil plot or kill and the broad smile of triumph adorning his angelic features.

"Well then Tea, what shall it be?" Bakura asked with an almost impatient tone. Tea took one last look at Yami, knowing that these words would be her last. His eyes were wide open in horror and he was scarred speechless. She waved goodbye to him.

"I choose to send myself to the Shadow Realm."

The darkness overtook her.

The last things she heard were Yami's pained cry and Bakura's loud swearing.

She smiled, she had saved both of the people whom she loved, she could live for the rest of eternity in peace.

_**Fin**_

**Hope you liked that (though it was most definitely **_**not**_** my best work), please review and request, I'm always taking commissions. Next up we have Ryou showing his mean side!**


	12. Ryou's Pissed

**Title: **Ryou Needs A Chill Pill

**Commission: **I request a fic in which Ryou's mean side is shown. –AirGirl Phantom

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, because if I did I would not have let the Dub version have so many strange and misplaced accents.

Ryou was having a bad day.

No, actually, he was having more than a bad day, he was having a terrible, awful, horrendous day. It was one of those days where you just wished that you could bash your head into a wall over and over again until you just lost all of your brain cells and you could remain in a vegetable-like bliss until the end of your life.

First Ryou had woken up late. A bad omen for any day, but it was especially bad for today. Since he had missed a day of school last week to go see a card game tournament that Yugi and his gang dragged him to, he was scheduled to take a test that he had missed that morning. Since he hadn't woken up on time Ryou got to the testing center late and the teacher failed him. That meant he couldn't get higher than a C in that class, and to his father, a C was worse than failing. It was average.

The strange think about Mr. Bakura was that, though he did not encourage them, he was fine with an F. He thought that an F was saying something, either that the teacher was terrible, or you were taking a stand against something. He never thought that an F meant that his son was not working to his full potential, he believed his son to smart to receive those kind of grades without some other story behind it. Besides, getting an F showed character. A C, however, did not. Mr. Bakura was not an average person, and he despised those who stuck to the status quo. That's why he hated B's and C's. Any average person could get a B or a C, it took someone special, like his son, to get an A or an F.

Ryou then spent most of his next few classes falling into shallow sleep, only to be woken up rudely by his teachers because he had to stay up the night before to write an essay that the teacher, at the last moment, decided to give an extension on. Most of the people in the class, who had not done the essay already, rejoiced. Ryou however did not, all he did was mourn the loss of a nights sleep. Its death had been in vain.

To make matters worse the usual bullying that Ryou had to usually put up with was more than doubled that day. Apparently his tormentors got a hold of the fact that Ryou was not feeling too swell and they decided to make his day even worse by grabbing his books and putting them in a toilet (causing him to get a tardy slip from his teacher) and putting an unknown sticky and somewhat smelly substance into his abundance of white hair. He had to miss his entire lunch period to get it out, which was not great considering the fact that he had skipped both dinner last night and breakfast that morning because of the essay and waking up late.

By the time the school day was over Ryou was exhausted and starving, having neither eaten nor slept since the day before.

But the worst thing of all happened when Ryou walked out of the door. One of his persecutors pushed him over, causing him to spill his books. He reached down to get them when a tan hand grabbed them instead.

"Here." Marik said as he handed Ryou the books.

This was the last straw.

The last thing that Ryou needed right now was a visit from the beautiful Egyptian boy that had been haunting his dreams since Battle City.

It was _his _fault that Ryou's body had been so weak and fragile after that.

It was _his_ fault that he had been held back a year in school because he had missed so much because of his injuries.

Of course the voice in the back of Ryou's head told him that he was being insane, that Marik wasn't to blame, it was just his teenage angst mixed with a mystical Egyptian item, but Ryou didn't want to listen. He just wanted to scream.

Then something in Ryou just blew-up.

All of the stress and the failures of his day just came to a boil and exploded.

"You bloody fucking wanker!" He shouted at the tan boy, making him jump a bit. "What in blazes makes you think that you can come here and make a fool of me?!" Marik opened his mouth to respond, but Ryou cut him off. "No idea! That's exactly it! Now leave you fucking daftie!" Marik looked taken aback. He held out the books that he was still holding to the white haired boy standing in front of him and walked off.

It wasn't until Marik was gone that Ryou realized that most of the school was staring at him. There wasn't a person in the crowd who didn't look surprised, and that included the teachers. None of them had thought that Ryou Bakura had a spine. They didn't know what the other boy had done to him, but it must have been pretty bad to make _Ryou Bakura_ yell at him.

Ryou was about to turn away and cry when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was one of his tormentors. Ryou was mentally preparing himself for the pain that was about to come when the boy spoke.

"Wow Ryou, you've finally become a man." And with that, he walked away.

Ryou stared in amazement at the shrinking figure of his bully.

He guessed he now had something to thank Marik for.

_**Fin**_

**I had some difficulties thinking of a plot for that one, but I think it turned out okay. Please request, I've got nothing on my plate right now, so I can't write anything until someone requests something! Have a great day everyone!**

**Oh wait, I just need to put this down here…**

**I LOVE YU-GI-OH 5D's!**

**Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. But I am madly in love with it (the Japanese version, not the English, because, like usual, the English is as stupid as fuck) and I kinda sorta want to marry Yusei. 3**


	13. My Favorite Pairing!

**Title: **Roadside

**Commission: **Can you do one for the song "Roadside" by Rise Against? –AirGirl Phantom

**Rating: **T

**Note: **Okay, so the text and the lyrics don't really match up _all_ that well (you'll see what I mean when you read) but I think that the story goes well with the song. And besides, I had a great excuse to use my favorite pairing in Yu-Gi-Oh fandom. Woot!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, because if I did, I'd be so rich that I don't have to go through this hell called high school.

**Tell me what I'm s'posed to do, with all these leftover feelings of you, 'cause I don't know.**

It was times like this that he thought of her.

When he was on his bike, riding through the endless abyss of an open road.

That's when she came to his mind.

He would only allow himself to think of her during these times. If not, his life would just be taken over by the constant reminders of his loneliness.

It wasn't the memories that were the most important ones, the ones of him bringing her to Dartz, when he saved her from the duel with Joey, when she had him in her arms… no. Not those.

The ones of _her_.

The true memories that made her Mai.

The time that they were stuck sleeping at a dingy motel and she killed the mouse that Alister was so scared of.

The time that she made him laugh with her signature 'is that a trap card in your pocket' joke so hard that milk shot out of his nose.

The time that they raced on their motorcycles so stupidly that they nearly fell off of a cliff.

Those were the things that came to him. Not the times that they had hurt each other, or the times that she was so consumed by revenge that he was just an insignificant speck.

He remembered the times that made him love her.

It was a melancholy ride down the road.

It always was.

When the happy thoughts of her fluttered around his head, causing him too much joy and so much pain.

Valon thought that some day all of this would cause his brain would explode.

**And tell me how I'm s'posed to feel, when all these nightmares become real, 'cause I don't know.**

Things, as Valon had learned, never last. He knew that.

The only people who he ever cared about either died or left him.

But the list of people was short.

Actually, the list only had two people on it.

The nun who had cared for him when he was just a small orphan.

And Mai.

Of course those goons had killed the nun, his mother surrogate. That's how Valon had landed in jail, killing those bastards.

But there had been an upside to that. Without the jail time he would have never met Dartz.

And if he had never met Dartz he would have never met Mai.

And if he had never met Mai, he never knew what living would really be about.

But eventually Mai was a thing of the past as well.

He hadn't seen her in what, two years now?

Two years, seven months, three weeks and thirty days.

But Valon wasn't keeping a count or anything.

Every moment without her was a nightmare.

Each day that he didn't see her ran together in his mind. It was only an endless void that eventually just ran together in its lack of meaning.

**And I don't think you see the places inside me that I find you, and I don't know how we separate the lies here from the truth. **

Today something was different.

Today there was someone else on the road.

He hadn't noticed the other biker for a long time. His mind was so absorbed by thoughts of her that he hadn't noticed anything. It was always like that; when he thought of her, he could think of nothing else.

But there it was, another person on the road. Only a speck in the distance, but still enough to keep Valon alerted.

Company on an abandoned road usually meant trouble.

Valon sped up his bike and focused his attention on his guest. He would not be caught unawares.

Thoughts of her were wiped out of his brain as he accelerated even more.

After a minute the gap between him and his visitor had shrunk to a great extent.

Valon accelerated once more, almost to his bike's full capacity. For some reason he couldn't let this person get away. He refused to let yet another person get away from him. He had let too many do that already.

He was neck to neck with the other biker.

"Valon!" He heard her say in surprise.

He fell off of his bike.

**And I don't know how we woke up one day somehow thought we knew exactly what we're supposed to do.**

He didn't believe it.

He couldn't believe it.

How could she have been here?

How could she have found him?

And how could she do this to him?

Of course Valon wanted to see her again, it was always in his thoughts, always pushing at the back of his mind. He had thought about going to see her… so many times, too many times, actually.

But he would have never thought that she would come find him.

That she would… care enough to come see him.

But there she was, sitting next to him, talking, laughing, and just being… there.

It was almost too much to take.

"Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital?" She asked.

"Nah, I've fallen of me bike so many times before that I can perform any operations I need on myself… while I'm drunk." The two of them laughed and it almost felt like old times again.

Except that it wasn't.

Both of them had avoided the subjects that haunted them. They wanted just a few moments of happiness before they had to be serious.

Valon took a breath, then spoke.

"How have things… been? Still dueling?"

"Things have been good. And yeah, but just for fun now. I have enough money that I don't really need to work that much anymore."

Valon nodded listening to every word. He had to document everything, this may be the last time he ever saw her and he wanted to remember every moment. Every syllable of what she said, every dip her voice took. He would have to remember it until the end of his life, so he paid attention.

"How about you?" She asked slightly nervous. It was a neutral question, something that any acquaintance could ask an old friend, but hers had all of the implications that they had both been dreading.

"Truthfully?" Valon asked with a smile. "Not so great."

**So leave me at the roadside, and hang me up and out to dry, so leave me at the roadside and hang me up and out to dry.**

It all came out.

Every word.

Every thought.

Every feeling.

Valon didn't leave anything out.

He knew that she would be frightened and saddened.

But this was something he had to do.

So he told her everything.

When he was done there was silence. Neither of them spoke or moved or took a drink. Their eyes didn't lock, their hands didn't reach for each other.

There was just silence and stillness.

"I'm sorry." She said after a moment. "For everything I've done to you."

"Mai." Valon said following her response. "I wouldn't trade it for the world." He smiled and got up. The two of them walked out of the bar and without a word mounted their bikes.

And together, they rode off into the sunset.

_**Fin**_

**Okay, so I've been having writer's block on both this and my NaNoWriMo, so thinking that this I can just finish off with a few lines I decided to finish this. So, the ending's not great but oh well. Deal with it. . Please request more because now I'll actually have some time to do them.**


	14. THREESOME!

**Title:** True Love

**Commission:** Okay, I request a relationship between Ryou, Mai, and Pegasus. At the same time, they all love each other. And Yami is jealous of their special love. –Kukki Boo

**Rating:** K+

**Note:** Sorry it's been so long, and sorry that this is so short.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, because if I did, the characters would be naked a lot more often.

Yami gazed longingly at the three people at the table next to them. They all seemed so different, but somehow they meshed together better than any… well, not couple, but group that he had ever seen before.

"Mai's such a whore." Tea said; her face green. Yami rolled his eyes; he knew and she knew that Mai wasn't a whore, Tea was just jealous of the fact that she had snagged two available guys, whereas she couldn't even get Yugi to go out with her.

"Yugi-boy?" A flamboyant voice said. Yami turned around to see Pegasus looking at him; Mai and Ryou were doing the same. "What on Earth are _you_ doing here?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"We're eating, just like you guys are." Tea said angrily. Yami rolled his eyes again. He had only agreed to go out with Tea out of pity; he was now regretting his decision.

"Oh, are you two _together_?" Mai asked with a knowing smile. She wrapped her arm around Ryou and he snuggled into her shoulder. _It's very sweet_. Yami thought with a smile. _I'm glad that they've all found each other_. He frowned for a moment though as he looked at the three of them, how could it be that the three of them found each other so easily, but he could not seem to catch a break when it came to love.

"Ye…" Tea began, but Yami interrupted her.

"No." He said, not really caring that he was hurting Tea's feelings. He was sick of her anyway.

"Oh." Mai said looking a bit disappointed. "That's a shame, but I guess we all can't find true love, now can we?" She said as she grabbed Pegasus's hand. The three of them laughed. Yami forced a smile; he just wished that he was in the same sort of situation at the moment.

"Well Yugi-boy, we must be off." Pegasus said as he winked at Yugi.

"Oh yes, we're scheduled to go to that new club that you like so much Mai." Ryou said nervously. "Ta-ta." The three people left, Mai in the middle with Pegasus and Ryou on each side, their arms intertwined with each other's.

"Ugh." Tea said with disgust. "That's disgusting."

Yami had to disagree with Tea. He thought that was the most beautiful thing in the world.

_**Fin**_

**Okay, so I'm super, super sorry about not updating this in… well… forever. I've been really busy and… well… it's not an excuse, but I'm going to try to update this more often now. Keep sending in requests! Next up is a duel between Yugi and Kaiba. Oh joy.**


	15. Touche!

**Title:** Seto's Final Duel

**Commission: "**hpw about a duel between yugi and kabia" -captainunderboy

**Rating: **T

**Note:** Okay, so this one started off decently, but it sort of goes off of the deep end by the end. This is what I get for writing while watching Ouran High School Host Club with Smeepalicious. Oh, and I'm just guessing about the commission, I'm not sure what 'hpw' means or who 'kabia' is.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, because if I did, Tea would have died.

"Yugi! I challenge you to a duel!" Kaiba said in an obnoxiously loud tone as his personal helicopter flew above Yami's head.

"No." He said plainly. "I'm sick of dueling you."

"How can you be sick of dueling me?!" Kaiba asked in his overly un-emotional voice. "I am your greatest rival! I am the only person who could ever even hope to defeat you!"

"No. Rafael beat me in season four." Yami said without any bitterness at all.

"… I don't count season four. Season four was awful."

**A/N: **Season four was awful. Except for Valon. Drooooooool.

"As I was saying, you must duel me!" Kaiba finished as he dramatically jumped off of his helicopter.

"No, I don't think so. I'm not in the mood." Yami said as Kaiba walked to Yami. He was sitting at a table outside of a local Starbucks. Before Kaiba came he was just minding his own business as he drank his low-fat, half-frapped mocha latte, extra foam, with cream and a double shot of vanilla and read through the latest issue of _Duel Monthly_.

"Not… in the mood?" Kaiba asked. _How could he not be in the mood?_ He asked himself. _He's the KING OF GAMES, how could he not be in the mood to duel?_

"Not in the mood." Yami reiterated. He took another sip of multi-syllabic drink and sighed. "Dueling just hasn't been doing it for me lately. Hey," he said as he put down his magazine. "Have you ever thought about playing sports? Or maybe Bakugan?"

Kaiba looked at Yami as if he were insane. _Sports? Bakugan? That guys even crazier than Jaden Yuki!_ "Yami, are you feeling alright?" Kaiba asked hesitantly. He knew that mental illnesses weren't contagious, but he didn't want to take any chances.

"You know what Seto? I'm feeling better than I've ever been." Yami said as he stood up. Kaiba looked at him with narrow eyes, there must have been something wrong with him. No one could not duel and be happy about it!

"What's wrong with you Motou? Lets try this again, Yugi! I challenge you to a duel!" Kaiba said again trying to look menacing. Yami sighed. He folded his magazine and put down his coffee.

"Fine Seto." He said as he took out a long fencing sword that Seto hadn't realized was there beforehand. Suddenly Seto found that he too, was carrying a fencing sword. "But you know, there's more than one way to duel!" Seto took out the sword and swung it in a threatening way.

"Fine Motou, but if I win, you'll duel me with cards next!" He said as he held out his sword in a ready position.

"And if I win you'll never bother me about card games again Kaiba!" Yami said in return.

"En garde!" The two of them shouted at the same time.

The duel was long and treacherous. The two of them took out at least five pedestrians and Bakura's legs. A few cats got in the way, but they too, were slaughtered. But finally, after Seto was distracted for a moment by Yami's sword chopping the legs off of his pants to make them look like hippie cut-offs, Yami was able to get the final blow on Kaiba.

"Touché!" He yelled thinking that he had just tapped his partner.

He was wrong.

He had cut Kaiba along his chest, leaving a bleeding, gaping wound on the millionaire. Yami rushed over to his rival's side.

"Kaiba! Kaiba! Speak to me!" He yelled as he shook Kaiba's body.

"Stop that you geek, that hurts!" Kaiba said as he weakly swatted Yami away. Yami sighed, even as he was dying Kaiba was still Kaiba. Yami suddenly had a brilliant idea.

"Now's the chance Seto, now you can renounce your old ways and you can finally admit that friendship, love and the heart of the cards are the ways to live life, rather than with money and hatred!" He said hoping that Tea would be so proud of him that she would put out later.

"NEVER!" Kaiba said as he closed his eyes and went limp in Yami's arms.

"SETO!" Yami screamed as he let go of the dead body and ran away. Yami had a deep, underlying fear of dead bodies. A police siren came into earshot and Yami ran away, he knew that he would get himself, and Yugi into deep trouble if the cops found out that he had killed the millionaire. "I think I'll just stick to dueling with cards." He said as he whistled nonchalantly down a nearby road.


	16. Scoring?

**Title:** Don't Stop The Music

**Commission: **"I request Yami/Ishizu with the gang unintentionally meeting her at a club, dancing to Rihanna's "don't stop the music". I guess for inspiration, follow the song lyrics?" -Akira Ishtar

**Rating: **T

**Note:** So, I had never heard this song before (I really listen to musical theater, emo and alternative music, I'm proud to say that I don't have any Rihanna on my iPod) and I listened to it in order to write this, and I did not enjoy it. This is why I did not follow the song lyrics. Well, also, because I'm really bad at following lyrics (cue chapter 13) and also, I can't really see Ishizu 'shaking the stress away'.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, because if I did, Grandpa would have been a transvestite (okay, I've been watching _way_ too much Ouran lately).

"Marik! Marik!" Ishizu called though the crowded dance floor. Some crappy American song was playing loudly making her eardrums wish that they were dead. All she wanted to do was find her brothers and to get home. The club was loud and the colors were to bright for her eyes, used to looking at the tan colored sands of the Egyptian deserts. "Marik, where are you?" She called again. She stood on her tiptoes and looked over the heads of the people in the crowd. Finally, she spotted a head of blonde hair. She ran over to her brother who was standing at the bar.

"Marik! There you are, we must leave immed…" she began to say until her brother interrupted her.

"Ishizu, this is Vivian. Vivian, this is Ishizu, my sister." He said as he gestured to the Asian girl standing next to him. "Would you excuse me for a moment Vivian?" He asked the girl who giggled and nodded. He grabbed Ishizu's arm took her a few steps away.

"Brother, we must find Odion and leave." She said. Marik laughed at her.

"You see that chick over there? She's so horny Ishizu; I'm totally going to score tonight. Just relax sister, and stay. I'll come get you later." With another laugh Marik walked away leaving Ishizu alone. She worriedly walked onto the dance floor. She wasn't sure what 'scoring' was due to the fact that she was new to this American culture, but she wasn't sure it was something that she wanted her little brother to do.

Some song that Ishizu was vaguely familiar with began to play on the dance floor. Looking around and seeing that Odion wasn't there, she began to sway a bit to the music. She wasn't exactly comfortable doing so, but she looked slightly less out of place when she attempted to dance. Suddenly she heard someone singing along to the music loudly behind her. Just as she looked to see who it was she felt someone ram into her.

"Please don't stop the music, please don't stop the music!" A drunken Tea Gardner slurred as she attempted to dance with Ishizu. "Oh my Gawd!" She said happily as she threw an arm around the Egyptian. "I _totally_ did _not_ think that I would see _you here_!" She said as she planted a kiss on Ishizu's cheek.

"Tea!" Ishizu heard a deep voice yell, a voice that was familiar to her.

"Pharaoh?" She asked as she saw the head of multi-colored hair appear next to the drunken girl.

"Yugi!" Tea said loudly. "Aw Yugi, you look so cute today!" She said as she promptly passed out on the dance floor.

"Oh Gods." The Pharaoh said as he grabbed his unconscious friend. "This keeps happening to her." He explained. Ishizu shrugged and helped him get Tea up.

"Pharaoh, how did you come back from the afterlife? We had seen you leave to join your past once again. Why aren't you still there?" She asked curiously. And she was curious, but excited. There was always something about the Pharaoh that she had found to be so… alluring.

"That's a long story that only strange fanfiction writers even try to get into." He said with a heavy sigh. The music in the background was strangely mesmerizing and the two of them linked eyes with each other for a moment. Yami dropped Tea's unconscious body onto the ground.

_Let's escape into the music, DJ let it play. I just can't refuse this, like the way you do this…_

"Ishizu," Yami said suddenly. "Would you like to dance?" He asked. She smiled.

"Yes, I would."

And the two of them danced together for the rest of the night, leaving Tea, Marik and Odion out of their minds.

_**Fin**_

Yeah. This one was a little odd, but they all are (actually, I believe that came out awfully)! They also seem to get shorter and shorter with each chapter… Okay, send requests everyone! Next up we have the Domino City Host Club… oh dear God.

Oh, by the way! If you want to know how Yami comes back from the afterlife read my (and Smeepalicious's) new fic Selfish Desires! It's fantastic and we actually have a decent explanation for how he _could_ come back to life. GO READ IT NOW! (Shameless advertising is over now).


	17. Fun With Similies

**Title:** The Maltese Duel Monster

**Commission: **"Joey Wheeler, P.I. gets a job from Mai who wants him to find her ex-boyfriend, Seto Kaiba. Kaiba happens to be dating someone else. And since you make things interesting, you can figure it out from there." –Kukki Boo

**Rating: **K+

**Note:** I tried to make this sound like a cheesy detective movie set in the 1930's. That's why I have all of the crazy similes and stuff. I hope that you all understand it, because I think it's hilariously funny. Also, I skipped Smeep's request, I was just having too much trouble writing it. I'll come back to it.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, because if I did, Valon would have been a much bigger character.

--

The first time that I saw her was when she was walkin' into my office. She had a tight little dress on; her long golden locks were hidden under a hat.

"Mister Wheeler?" She asked softly as she closed the door.

"Depends on who's askin'." I replied, as per the usual.

"Mai Valentine." She said as she took a seat and opened up her purse. "Your assistant and I spoke on the phone." She said as she took a piece of paper out of the bag. "I've hired you to find him." She said as she handed me the slip of paper, which turned out to be a photo.

It was of a serious looking man with cold blue eyes and hair the color of the dog costume that I would wear when I was younger for Halloween. He was an attractive guy, but I didn't know why such a beautiful woman as Mai would waste her time with him. That gal could have gotten any guy that she wanted.

"Your brother?" I asked knowing that it wasn't the answer.

"No," She said a bit uncomfortably as she fidgeted in her chair. I knew that she had a secret agenda, but I wouldn't pursue that quite yet. "He's my ex-fiancée, Seto Kaiba. He left me at the altar." I had to let out a laugh at that one. She looked at me with narrow eyes, and I knew that I had made a mistake.

I quickly tried to step back to tell her why I found it funny before I lost a costumer. "It's just that a guy like that probably couldn't even wish for a gal like you, but he just threw you away like a rotten sandwich on a hot summer morning." She narrowed her eyes at me even more.

Her words came out as a hiss. "Would you like me to take my business somewhere else Mr. Wheeler?" She asked and I shook my head. Times were hard and I needed all of the costumers that I could get. "Good. Now I need you to find Seto and give him this letter." She took an envelope out of her purse. "It's very important that he gets this as soon as possible. Good luck Mr. Wheeler." She said as she got up and left the room leaving me alone with the picture, the letter and a name.

Seto Kaiba was the man who I needed to find.

The days trying to find the man were tough. He had left almost no information about him behind. It seemed almost as if he had disappeared off of the very Earth. Then I met my key witness in this operation, a man by the name of Underwood.

We met in a dark alley on a rainy night. A night like this in Domino City was awful, so there was no one but us in the near vicinity. Everyone else was indoors and in their beds. To be outside we were crazier than the koala who ran into the hungry dingo's arms.

"Underwood?" I asked the short figure who was cloaked in darkness. A soft, but high pitched escaped his lips like a pubescent teenage boy on his first date with a hot chick who would normally be way out of his league except for the fact that her boyfriend dumped her and she wanted to make him jealous.

"Yes." He said with a slight lisp. "I hear that you're looking for a certain Seto Kaiba."

"I am. I hear that you have some information about his current whereabouts." I said skeptically.

"I do, but did you bring the cards?" He asked and I could see his broad grin even in the darkness. I took a package out of my jacket pocket and tossed it over to him. He greedily opened it up like a kid on Christmas morning. With a nod of his head he looked back up at me. "Good, good. First edition Basic Insect. Very rare. Very good."

"Tell me the information Underwood." I said irritably. I couldn't stand these sorta guys.

"Get a hold of yourself Wheeler. I've got information for you." He cleared his throat once and I got out the notepad and pen that I kept in my trench coat. I always liked to be prepared. "He's in Egypt with a new broad, he's changed his name to Set as well. He wanted to get out of the limelight and leave this place. He's living somewhere near Cairo." With another giggle Underwood turned and walked away.

But that was fine; I had all that I needed to know.

I told the broad that I was off to Cairo and the next day I stepped off of the airplane into the hot, arid desert. I was suddenly hotter than a fat kid on his fifth day of band camp without a water bottle. But I had a mission, and that was to get the letter to a Mr. Seto Kaiba.

I spent two days searching for the guy before I finally found him. He was apparently living with some gal by the name of Ishizu Ishtar. Apparently, they were in a romantic relationship. It sure seemed like that when I knocked on the door to their apartment.

The gal answered after a good minute of long, hard knocking. "Hello?" She said with a dazed look on her face as she attempted to straighten the back of her long, white skirt.

"I'm looking for Seto Kaiba." I told her as sternly as I could.

"Ishizu!" I heard a male voice call from the other room. "Who is it at the door?"

"Some Japanese guy asking for you." She yelled with a shrug. In what seemed like just a moment the man; in the flesh was standing at the door. With a short but passionate kiss he dismissed his girlfriend and turned to me.

"What do you want?" He asked. "Money? Fame? Anything? I just want to be left alone." He said.

"Don't flatter yourself, I want to leave you alone, but I just had a little delivery I need to make." I said as I pulled Mai's letter out of my pocket. He snatched the letter out of my hand, as he read it his eyes grew wide. I couldn't help myself asking. "Just curious, what's in that letter?"

"She cheated on me… the night before our wedding… with Pegasus…" and with that, he passed out.

I had to say that I was more surprised than a rabbit sitting on a railroad track selling lemonade seeing a train come by only to pass over it without injuring it at all.

_**Fin.**_

Okay, I am seriously sorry for not updating in a month. Like always, I have a million and one excuses, but mostly it was because I was in a play at school and it's been uber-stressful. But (thank God) it's over now and I'll have more time to write. I'm also sorry that I've been updating things before this, but sometimes it's just really hard for me to write these crack-ish fics all the time. I'm more of a serious writer and writing these is always a stretch for me.


	18. A Really Bad Chapter

**Title:** What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas

**Commission: "**How about... a one-shot involving Marik, Bakura, people-watching, and a rubber duck." –AirGirl Phantom

**Rating: **K

**Note:** So I was grounded and uninspired. That's why this thing hasn't been updated much. Terribly sorry. Oh, and this chapter is short. I've been having trouble with these vague requests (no offense intended) they're a bit hard to think of filler for. Oh, and this is weird as hell.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, because if I did, I wouldn't have to write fanfiction.

_Las Vegas is an odd place._ Bakura thought to himself as he aimlessly walked along the streets looking at the people passing him by. There were all sorts of people here. Big, tall, beautiful, ugly, strange… He had never seen so many different sorts of people in one place.

"Bakura! Hey Bakura!" Bakura swiftly turned his head around trying to see who, in Ra's name, would know him in a city of this size, but luckily, he saw no one that he knew. With a relieved sigh he continued walking. If he were to take control of this city and find the Millennium Eye again he couldn't have any distractions. "Bakura! Bakura!" He heard it again. He was slightly peeved. It wasn't as if his surname was very common. He turned his head again and what he saw frightened him.

Marik Ishtar, covered in more gold than usual, with a less than classy lady on each arm.

"Marik, what in Ra's name are you doing here?" Bakura asked angrily. Knowing Marik he'd want to follow him around all the time acting like a little lost puppy…

"I'm here to have some fun Bakura, something that I don't think you know how to have." He nodded and the ladies on his arms giggled and walked off. "What in Ra's name are _you_ doing here?" Marik asked with a skeptical eye.

Bakura was floored. What could he tell him he was there for? He had said that he had stopped his plans for the Millennium Items, but what else could explain his presence in the place where the Millennium Eye was known to be. _If only Pegasus hadn't bought the Luxor…_ Bakura thought angrily to himself as Marik waited impatiently for an answer. "I'm here for ah… uh…" He stalled and his eyes moved over to a woman wearing a very tight dress out of some sort of rubbery leather material. "A rubber duck!" He said triumphantly. Marik stared at him for a moment and then burst out laughing.

"Sure, sure, my friend. Come with me, let's go get a drink." Before Bakura could reject the offer Marik had put an arm around his shoulders and was leading him off to only Osiris knew where.


End file.
